In today’s OMFG I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT HAPPENED, a Reddit woman shared the story of how her husband replaced her wedding dress with the one his mom liked better. For real. Let’s get into this, phew…
So, the Original Poster (OP) is 28 and her fiancé is 33. She refers to his mom as “the intrusive type but she’s nice overall and we….somewhat get along.”
And, as they’ve been wedding planning, things have been a nightmare, according to the OP. “His mom wasn’t willing to agree on most things, and my fiancé said that since he’s her only child I should respect and appreciate this ‘vision’ she has for the wedding and how it should be.”
And it’s no surprise then that his mom insisted on coming along when she was wedding dress shopping with her own mom and her friends. “I was so lucky to have found what I was looking for. But my fiancé’s mother picked a dress that she liked much better and said ‘she always pictured her son’s bride in it.’ My mom and friends thought this line was creepy. I thought the dress was somewhat creepy and toooootally not my type. I apologized and thanked her for her ‘vision’ but told her that I’d already decided on a dress that I had ‘envisioned’ myself wearing at my wedding!”
So, she bought the wedding dress SHE wanted herself, and if you were wondering, no the fiancé’s mom did not pay for any of it.
Well, his mom got upset about the pushback on the dress she liked, so she (not surprisingly) complained to him about it. “He came home that evening ranting about how I made his mom upset, ‘turned down’ her help in choosing the wedding dress and excluded her from the process.”
And, as you could probably predict, a fight ensued. “I asked ‘What process?’ — duh it’s just a wedding dress…my wedding dress so I really didn’t get how she should get a say at all! He got upset and said that this attitude of mine wasn’t working. He said that I should consider the dress his mom wanted me to buy especially knowing that ‘both dresses weren’t that much different anyway’ according to his mom but I told him yes they were different…like so much different.”
After that, the argument was dropped but the next day the OP came home and found out her fiancé had RETURNED HER WEDDING DRESS and replaced it with the one his mom wanted.
“I called him and he was straightforward about what he did and why he did it. I lost it and started screaming at him. He asked me to calm down and really give this dress ‘a chance.’ I refused to even listen. I screamed at him without giving him a chance to speak. He got home and we had another argument,” she explained in the thread.
After that fight was unresolved, the OP left to stay with one of her friends. “He kept calling and calling, then texting saying that I overreacted and it’s his wedding too so it wasn’t cool how I screamed at him. He insisted I give this dress a chance. He went on and on about how his mom has a ‘vision’ and good intentions and just wants what is best for me as her future daughter-in-law.”
Since all this happened, the OP’s mom has been livid but is holding back. “My dad said that this isn’t worth ruining my relationship with my inlaws. He suggested I wisen up and ‘go with the flow’ but is it too much for me to be able to pick my own wedding dress without being guilted about it just to keep the peace? Am I an asshole for my reaction?”
User u/CaptainPatent said it best: “Hand him the ring back. Say ‘I hope you get the wedding you and your mom have always hoped for.’ Walk away. Not the asshole.”
“I have no idea why you want to marry this man. He clearly has one woman he holds above everyone. And guess what that’s not you. I am shocked at the audacity of his mother. And even more so of his behavior.”
A lot of people pointed out that it is good this kind of behavior is happening now, BEFORE the wedding and she is committed to these types of situations for the rest of her life. “This is not a dynamic that is going to change with either your fiancé or his mother. RUN,” said an anonymous person.
“Also, do you plan on having kids? Imagine your MIL disagreeing with something you want to do for those children, and how your momma’s boy fiancé will side with her instead of you. I’m sorry, but leave while you can.”
And many commenters were saying that OP’s dad was actually in the wrong for how he told her to ignore it and ~go with the flow~.
And, because it was so ridiculous for the OP to even THINK she was the asshole, people started making spot-on jokes. “Maybe his mom could wear it to the wedding and stand in for you,” laughed u/alisong89.
And, the OP updated the thread to say that — after all of this — her fiancé is STILL sticking to what he did and wanting to honor his mom’s wishes. Dear Lord, we hope she gets out but she also didn’t give any inkling that she would be leaving him.